Soul Ties

How does someone become tied to our soul? What is it about a soul tie that makes them sweet and poisonous at the same time?
Everybody we meet makes a deposit into our soul. Some shallow, some deep, some healthy and some unhealthy. The unhealthy soul tie is not like other connections.  An unhealthy soul tie is not simply an emotionally or spiritually unhealthy person, an unhealthy soul tie is any person or relationship that medicates our unhealthiness.  That’s hard to swallow but the truth is, unhealthy mates with unhealthy. 
An unhealthy soul produces unhealthy thoughts, attractions and addictions that control or dominate feelings and behavior. An unhealthy soul tie is a reflection of our soul condition — despite our spiritual position. Our spiritual position — belief in God and the bible, can co-exist with our emotional affliction or unhealthy condition. You can be saved and emotionally broken or suffering at the same time (Romans 7:19-25).
Consider this: Holy people can have holes in their heart. A hole is simply an unhealed wound from the past that exposes us to emotional addictions. Addictions aren’t to something, they’re for something — An addict is not addicted to drugs, an addict is addicted to pain — unresolved, unacknowledged, unhealed pain. The drug of choice medicates the pain — and usually ends up being abused (drug abuse).  People can be our drug of choice.
Pain does not always make us miserable, emotional pain can be silent but deadly. If we’ve lived with pain our entire lives or if we’ve been trained by toxic teachers, pain can hide in our soul and even make crazy seem normal or make dysfunction feel natural.
An unhealthy soul tie always tells us something about ourselves that we didn’t know, need to know or have denied knowing. If you think about it, what could cause us to be hopelessly in love with someone who is emotionally poisonous or causes us to become self-destructive? It’s not them…Alcohol does not make people alcoholics, pain does — alcohol or whatever the drug of choice is, medicates the pain.
Listen to your soul. Listen to the emotions that an unhealthy soul tie motivates — can you hear it? Do you hear what you sound like? Does the rationalization sound anything like what an addict would say about their drug of choice? Justification, rationalization for abusing anything or anyone to our detriment is confirmation that we’re not OK, something is wrong, we need to heal.
Put this in your spirit: The bible does not speak of soul ties. “Soul Tie” is not a biblical reference, it’s an emotional condition — like any other that results in an unhealthy influence over our behavior. What the bible does say is that we are to guard our hearts: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). It also tells us that we must renew our minds (Romans 12:2), and we must keep our soul healthy: “…May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ(1 Thessalonians 5:23).
In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass STD’s — Spiritually Transmitted Diseases – 1 Corinthians 6:15-17.  An unhealthy soul tie can create a portal through which the enemy can exploit our contaminated emotions and use our brokenness to sabotage our greatness. Unhealthy soul ties can do things such as allow one person to manipulate and control another person, and in many cases cause one person to emotionally suffer while the other person is unaware of what is going on — Or knows what is going on but for no real or healthy reason allows it to continue.
Whenever our spirit and soul has been unhealthily connected to another the signs include:
  • Obsessive preoccupation with another or inability to move past an emotionally, mentally or spiritually unhealthy relationship
  • Tendencies to seek to recreate or reproduce feelings from an unhealthy relationship
  • Pattern of behavior that consistently engages in relationships with unhealthy people
  • Treats relationships like a drug or a fix for a temporary high and easily discards relationships after the high wears off
  • Tendency to be domineering or controlling in a relationship
To begin the work to untie an unhealthy soul tie, we have to acknowledge and respect that they aren’t the issue. Repeat that as often as you need to. “They are not the issue.” The unhealthy soul tie does not tie us, we tie them to us through unhealthy emotions that are medicated by them. This is where the work comes in.
Prayer will open our heart to God’s will and desire for our lives. Change comes from putting boots on our faith and going to work (James 2:17).  Soul work is not easy work, it is the most difficult work to do because it requires acknowledgement, humility and uncommon conviction to  unbecome our deep, negative roots. Soul work requires getting the knowledge and support to help us to do the work to renew our mind, replace unhealthy emotions with healthy ones and to create emotional boundaries to stay sober. You’re not just working on your healing but you’re also working on loving yourself on a conscious level, a level that honors your potential and your temple.
Untying an unhealthy soul tie begins and ends with us (Proverbs 1:15). Even if today’s unhealthy soul tie is removed or leaves, if we don’t heal the hurt in our soul, another soul tie will come along to replace them.
Every soul tie is a lie. The truth is, they are, and their attention or affection is our drug of choice to medicate our addiction to a pain, an unhealthy desire, an unhealthy belief, or dysfunction that we have to do our internal work to uproot.  No matter what the tie is, remember, “With you it is impossible but with God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).  With God’s help, we can untie the toxic root in order to untie ourselves from unhealthy people.
Share and be blessed.
Pastor Patrick
Power for your push! Feed your soul with this powerful eBook devotional by Pastor Patrick: “Getting Past The Past”

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One Response to “Soul Ties”

  1. Apostle Karen L Smith says:

    I had enjoyed reading your discourse on unhealthy soul ties. To my ears and eyes this was most interestingly stated because the transformation of the mindset that one has to go through is POWERFUL. This is at the same time acknowledging the core problem that had occurred in their life. This is why GOD had me to pin “Married But Not Married”. I am truly grateful because I had the opportunity to pray for pastors in their fallen state because of what happened to me.

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